


Trust.

by a19YearOldTryingHerBest



Category: Barry (TV 2018), Bill Hader - Fandom, IT (Movies - Muschietti) RPF, Real Person Fiction, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, i guess, i'm not sure what to tag, idk - Freeform, it's weird - Freeform, kind of fluffly but not so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a19YearOldTryingHerBest/pseuds/a19YearOldTryingHerBest
Summary: It’s the IT premiere and someone drinks a bit much, letting some of their feelings and fears out.
Relationships: Bill Hader & Reader, Bill Hader & You, Bill Hader / OFC, Bill Hader / Reader, Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s), Bill Hader/You
Kudos: 15





	Trust.

Bill smiled as he tried to pose, his hands doing nothing but falling flat next to his torso being followed by his shoulders slouching down. He had forgotten all the pointers Gwen had gave him, but she didn’t care, it wasn’t like it was her idea to improve his posing game, she actually adored the way he just stood in front of the cameras and wasn’t sure of doing what to do but smile.

She took her place in the carpet next to him, smiling as he placed his hand on the small of her back, touching her skin thanks to the backless dress. He then seemed to be a lot more calmed and collected, it was easier with her, not only posing on the carpet, everything. She’d always calmed him down and made him feel safe but he had never really told her that.

Gwen looked lovingly at him while he posed, observing his hair, his eyes, the little wrinkles from smiling, and finally, the sweet smile on his face; a smile immediately formed on her lips, unable to contain it, feeling her heart skip several beats as her chest being filled with happiness and love. She closed her eyes for a second and then turned to the cameras, posing.

After the showing of the movie, and some of the games the premier had, they decided to go to the after party, Gwen getting mentally ready to talk some more to the cast, crew and some other people of the business. She had already hitted it off with Andy, Jessica and Jay so she knew to look for them if she felt too lonely. Luckily, Bill knew her and kept an eye out in case her “shyness” became too much to handle, but in some point Bill had to go say hi to some people, leaving her alone, she said she was fine, which was true at that very moment, but then she turned to the bar, trying to relax a little.

Four glasses later she was tipsy so she decided to stop, and then she forgot and asked for a fifth drink. She was talking funny, luckily she wasn’t talking much, but at least she didn’t feel the constant pressure she always felt and, because of that, when some dude came to ask her to dance she said yes.

He danced closely and she was uncomfortable but the effect of the alcohol made it a bit difficult to express the discomfort, so she kind of stood there as the dude slightly groped her, making her feel much more uncomfortable by the second, sobering her up a bit. As she looked around for a familiar face or an excuse to get out, the guy had decided it was a good idea to put his hands on her hips and slid them slowly downwards.

Gwen froze, if she would’ve been sober she would’ve slapped the guy but she wasn’t, so she was stuck in a trance of fear, shame and dizziness.

She left the dreadful trance as two big and familiar hands grabbed her waist getting her closer to Bill — I’m gonna need you to go man. — the rage in his voice was palpable but he kept a monotone voice with made him even more intimidating.

Bill was definitely capable of beating that guy in any fight, he was taller, more muscular and he really, really wanted to; but the guy, also being under the influence, didn’t seemed to notice that, so he made a scene. He screamed a lot of “hey, dude” as he said how Bill had cut off his lucky nigh, insulting him up and down, and making a few observation on how hot Gwen was and that she was too much for him until he was escorted out. Bill barely made it without punching him, keeping his hands in fist, hoping for the man to step closer so he could sucker punch him, the only thing keeping him against it being Gwen; she kept her hand open on his chest, holding him back but also keeping herself steady. As they took the man away Bill changed his mindset, no longer angry but worried and concerned about Gwen.

— Are you ok? — he said, letting his hand rest on her cheek, sliding his thumb against her skin. She nodded, melting into his touch.

— I wanna go home. — she said, closing her eyes before grabbing his hand on her cheek and moving slightly to kiss his palm.

— Alright. — and that went home. He felt sick when they got to their place, really thinking what had happened and what could’ve happened, his hands forming fist again. On the other hand she looked at him as he was her savior, thing she always did but now wasn’t hiding.

They both sat in bed and Gwen started doing massages on his shoulder to help him relax, leaving softly chaste kisses on his neck but all his mind could think of was on beating that guy up, keeping her safe.

So he didn’t relax, frustrating Gwen. Bill could help her without her even asking him to, he just knew, he knew to be aggressive but not to start a fight, he knew how to make her feel safe and she couldn’t even help him relax.

— I’m gonna to take a shower. — he said, Gwen stopping the massages on his neck.

— Want me to join you? — she said, about to stand up from the bed but he stopped her, turning around an leaving a hand on her shoulder.

— No, I- — she was shocked, unable to understand why he would say that — I’m ok.— he needed to cool down and he knew he didn’t want her to see him as enraged as he was, he needed a little time to calm down.

Gwen laid in bed as he showered, doing nothing but thinking, the alcohol slowly fading away. She loved him so much, and he loved her too but she couldn’t help but feel she loved more than he did, and that made her feel vulnerable. Sadly, the effects of the alcohol made her spiral down in a hole of rough and harsh thoughts, not only about herself but their relationship.

Minutes later Bill came out of the room, only a towel covering him. She looked to the ceiling, despite her previous offer, she wasn’t in the mood — Ar- are you mad at me? — she let out, pain and some sort of fear had tainted her voice.

He laid next to her, worrisome, turning her head towards him — No, why would I? — he wondered analyzing her features as her frown scrunched and her mouth turned it’s corners down.

— Because of that guy.

— That guy was an asshole. — he moved some of her hair behind her ear — He took advantage of you. Why would I be mad?

— I don’t know. B-because I was drunk and said yes to dancing? I don’t-

— You can be drunk at any party you want and dance with whoever you want. I know you’ll let me take you home at the end of the night. — he smiled.

— I love you, Bill. — he smiled a bit, she always became more open about her feeling under the influence of alcohol or the lack of sleep, right now she was on both.

— I love you, too.

— No, no. **_I_ love **_**you** , w_ay too much. More that you love me, a-and I’m not saying in a _“you don’t love me”_ way, I’m saying it as in _“you’ll stop loving me a bit more each day”_ because _everyone_ does. I’m a mess and people grow tired. But it hurts more with you because I just- _love you_. — Bill looked at her, trying to understand where she was coming from and why she was saying that. She felt her heart ache and her stomach shrink, that was the most vulnerable she had ever been and she felt naked, unprotected but she kept going anyway, trying to leave her fears behind — I just do that, I love you and love you, and keep loving you. I- I don’t care about anything else and that scares me. I just keep loving you. No matter what you do I’ll keep loving you and that’s _not good_. ‘Cause you could hurt me whenever you want, in whatever way you want, and I would forgive you and keep loving you and that would only destroy me, but I would _**still fucking love you**_. — tears were falling from her eyes, damping the pillow her head was laying on. Bill was frozen, completely caught off guard by the whole situation — I can’t do that. I- I don’t want to risk that. I can’t just- I can’t be like my mom. — she cried out, dread in her voice as she softly shook her head, tears falling faster than before, soaking her face — She just adored my dad, no matter what he did, she loved him. She loved him more than she loved me or my brothers. No matter what. And he knew that, he- he took advantage of that and just did whatever the fuck he wanted and j-just fucked her up. And even after he left her, after he took every ounce of love she had, she kept loving him. And I- I know you’re not like my dad, _I know that_ , but I can’t help but feel like I’m waiting for you to hurt me. Like I’m waiting for you to stop giving a fuck about me and start hurting me just for the sake of it. — her voice broke as she did, whimpers leaving her mouth as she covered her face with her hands — You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I can’t tr- I can’t- — she tried to continue but her voice gave in one more time, leaving her speechless with nothing but a whimper on her throat — I’m sorry.

And he just held her. Letting her cry on his chest, his heart aching with every tear she spilled, with every hurted “I’m sorry” she cried out. He felt her brake under his grasp, feeling helpless and useless, unable to help her. And he couldn’t do anything but to cry, his heart breaking for her. As he looked for some way to comfort her, to let her know she wouldn’t be hurted.

— I don’t want to ever hurt you, Gwen. — he finally said, almost whispering into her ear, slowly caressing her shoulder — I’m never gonna do that to you. I love you. And it sometimes scares me how much I love you, too, but I know you’re not going to hurt me. You should know I am never going to hurt you, ok? — he took a shaky breath, holding her closer — I need you to trust me on that. I will never hurt you. — he vowed, pouring every inch of his heart and soul into those words.

— You promise? — she had stopped crying the minute he started to speak, still letting out a sob or two.

He smiled with relief and love, nodding softly — I swear. — he rocked softly back and forward, kissing her head a few times — Do you trust me?

— I do. I trust you, Bill.

She held him closer, letting her head rest against his chest and hearing his heartbeats as he laid kisses on the top of her hair; finally trusting him, finally trusting somebody.


End file.
